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Bon Iver: Holocene

Yet again, Bon Iver has hypnotized me with his music. It seems nearly impossible to stop this song once it's started--I get sucked in, every time.



And at once I knew, I was not magnificent


Side note: if a woman sang with this voice, would anyone think she was talented?
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Flo-Rida & Pitbull: Turn Around [Pt. 2]

I am straight up obsessed with this song. Every time it comes to an end, I think I'm comfortable with moving on to another song, and every time I'm wrong. Of course, listening to it so many times consecutively will inevitably make me sick of it within a week, but for now it will remain the entire soundtrack to the nightly one-woman dance parties I hold in my apartment.

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Kanye West: Mama's Boyfriend

Finally, a catchy Kanye shoutout to the (usually) worthless men who invade our mothers' lives and act like they're family.



We are the voices of our parents bad choices,
The aftermath of divorces, the kids of bitter split-ups


My mama said I could do it, I already got clearance
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In support of financial responsibility

Keepsakes for the future family album?

In the game of grad school loans, I am about to lose miserably. I have yet to start paying these loans back, but just looking at their respective amounts online makes me nauseous. Sailing on the high seas nauseous. Second trimester of pregnancy nauseous. It's the kind of sickening feeling that leads to deviousness, a by-any-means-necessary nature, if you will. Which brings me to the plan I have devised to handle this hefty financial load. I plan to get pregnant by a rapper. 

Not just any rapper, mind you. I have honed in on one in particular that I believe will do a superb job. Who is this knight in shining armor? I'm glad you asked. It's none other than Dwayne Carter (Lil Wayne to all you non-baby mamas). It may seem like a long shot, given that we don't know each other and live in different cities, but here are the facts:

-He's obviously able to procreate (please refer to his 4 current children for verification)
-He certainly has the money to support a 5th child
-He hasn't had a child with a white girl yet, so our child will be a unique addition to his collection
-By all accounts, he seems to be a decent father, so when I start shirking my motherly responsibilities because I was only in this for the money, the kid will be alright. Probably.
-He doesn't plan to get married, so I'll never be expected to tie the knot with him just because we have a child together
-The baby-making portion of this plan will not be difficult for me, since I already find him attractive (please, save the disagreement-trust me, I've heard it all)
-To give birth to a Lil Wayne-fathered baby is to enter into a nice group of ladies who are going through the same thing. This inevitably means swapping baby stories, group trips to sunny beaches, shopping trips in L.A.

Who knows what my business venture will be after I start receiving monthly child support checks in my bank account. Perhaps a fashion line! It's already been suggested that while pregnant, I should walk around exclusively in shirts that say "Weezy's Baby", that include an arrow pointing to the adorable little bun in the oven. But first and foremost, all money earned from this adventure will be paying for my education. It's the natural way of things really: go to school and obtain a Master's degree, then get pregnant by someone who's well-off in order to pay for said degree. I'm pretty sure there was a paragraph about this in my orientation handbook. 

I know, I know-there are other elements of this plan to think about: Who will raise this baby? Will he/she turn out to be a sociopath because of a lack of parental involvement and a general confusion about why he/she was conceived? These are good questions. And I will answer them, all in good time. Pregnancy takes like, 9 months, right? I've got plenty of time to flesh these things out. 
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Drake: Marvin's Room

Marvin's Room does for my ears what a swinging chain would do for my eyes: it hypnotizes me. With each replay of this song, my mind wanders elsewhere during the verses, but I could be 100 miles away, and as soon as "Fuck that n**** that you love so bad..." kicks in, I'm immediately in some kind of trance.



I'm just saying, you could do better
Tell me, have you heard that lately?
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Chase & Status ft. Tinie Tempah: Hitz

Feels like I've heard the same drum pattern a million times before, but the rest of the song & Tinie Tempah are good enough that I end up not caring.



She called me chauvinistic, but she can't even spell it
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Rihanna: Man Down

This song:

-makes me want to dance,
-but then makes me feel bad for dancing after I remember what it's about
-sounds ridiculous coming out of my mouth, because I can't pull off Rihanna's accent
-leaves me longing for the ability to roll my R's

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Oui, oui

Sadly, I have never cared for or about Bradley Cooper. No specific reason, I just don't get the attraction.

But today, I have learned that he speaks fluent French. And when I say he speaks fluent French, I mean he does so in an incredibly attractive way. To anyone who says that only women sound sexy when speaking French, you are very, very wrong.

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1 + 1 = Beyonce's Declaration of love at its finest

I'm not sure what I like more about this video: the fact that Beyonce sounds so heavenly while singing her new single, 1+1 in her dressing room, or the fact that Jay-Z cared enough to record her rehearsal.

I didn't watch the American Idol finale that she's rehearsing for, but I can imagine the extra fanfare that was added onstage didn't actually benefit the song. To me, this simpler, heartfelt version of the song is just perfect.